The Gift of Time….

3 Oct

There are times in almost every day when I wish time would speed up just a little.   Sometimes it’s because I can’t wait to pick the boys up from school, sometimes it’s because I want Ben to get home from work, sometimes I can’t wait for play time, and there are even times when I can’t wait for bedtime.  When you are about to lose someone very close to you, all you want to do is stop time, turn back time, or be granted MORE time…  This is how I feel tonight, I just want the gift of time.  The woman who I have always considered my second mom is dying of Kidney Cancer.  Barb helped raise me from birth to today.  She has been my Mom’s best friend since before I was born- 40 years of friendship.  They have gone through every facet of life together… Birth, marriage, divorce, faith, loss, happiness, sorrow, sickness and health.  I have lived with Barb, she has witnessed all my trials and my successes from skinned knees and strep throat to graduation, marriage and births.  She has taught me to  laugh, to cry, to be compassionate, and to love.  This is a woman who can make you giggle at the drop of a hat and give you advice that will withstand a lifetime- all while feeding you some delicious home baked meal.    She is part of who I am and always will be.  I wish I could turn back time.  I wish my boys had more days with her.  I wish she was the one teaching them to make crazy cake and pecan pies.   I wish I had recorded her playing footsie with them and smelling their toes. I wish I had more pictures of her with my family.  I wish she and Ben had more time to laugh together.   I wish she wasn’t dying.  I wish this wasn’t real.  I wish I had more time.    TIME-It’s a crazy thing…  I am going to try my hardest to recognize the GIFT OF TIME from this day forward, rather than wishing it to fly.   I am going to remember the special time I was granted with Barb and share those memories with my children.   I am going to cherish the gift that time truly is!

As for my dearest Barbie, I will always remember the special time you gave me, your love for me and all those close to you, and your timeless spirit. I love you with all my heart…  XOXO

5 Responses to “The Gift of Time….”

  1. Kirsten October 3, 2012 at 10:56 PM #

    ((sniff, sniff)) I’m so sorry Shannon… I, on the other hand, just wish I could give YOU a hug right now.

  2. kirstentulsian October 3, 2012 at 10:58 PM #

    I’m so sorry Shannon. I wish, on the other hand, that I could give you a hug right now.

    • kirstentulsian October 3, 2012 at 11:12 PM #

      sorry for the double comment… i didn’t think the first one went through… it had a hiccup. so, in this case, i’m giving you twooooo really long hugs, my friend!

  3. janice donovan October 4, 2012 at 2:37 PM #

    Shannon, beautifully said!

  4. Dove October 16, 2012 at 9:30 PM #

    I just started to follow your blog 2 days ago. I’m now laying in bed crying reading what you’ve written. I don’t know what it’s like to have that kind of up bringing … I’m simply crying cause I feel for you. I have a little boy & I take about 3000 pics a year (no exaggeration) because I know someday, he won’t be little anymore, & someday his grandmother (the only other person in his life beside myself & his dad) will no longer be with us. I hope you get the chance to cherish every moment you can with her

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