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Missing My Barbie…

4 Oct

There are times in almost every day when I wish time would speed up just a little.   Sometimes it’s because I can’t wait to pick the boys up from school, sometimes it’s because I want Ben to get home from work, sometimes I can’t wait for vacation, and there are even times when I can’t wait for bedtime.  When you lose someone you love,  all you want to do is stop time, turn back time, or be granted MORE time…  One year ago today the woman who I consider my second mother passed away.  I feel like I was ROBBED of time.  There is not a day that goes by when I don’t think about her.  Whether I’m baking one of her recipes, watching my boys play with a ball she gave them, or simply remembering her laugh, I miss her.    She was my Mom’s best friend for 40+ years.  They have gone through every facet of life together… Birth, marriage, faith, loss, happiness, sorrow, sickness and health.  My mom and I lived with Barb and her daughter Leslie, they are our family.  We did life together.   She has witnessed all my trials and my successes from skinned knees and strep throat to graduation, marriage and births.  She was there when my boys were born, she babysat them, gave them their first haircuts, and loved them as if they were her own grandson’s.   She taught me to  laugh, to cry, to be compassionate, and to love.  This is a woman who can make you giggle at the drop of a hat and give you advice that will withstand a lifetime- all while feeding you some delicious home baked meal.    She is part of who I am and always will be.  I wish I could turn back time.  I wish my boys had more days with her.  I wish she was the one teaching them to make crazy cake and pecan pies.   I wish I had recorded her playing footsie with them and smelling their toes. I wish I had more pictures of her with my family.  I wish she and Ben had more time to laugh together.   I wish she was still here.  I really wish she was still here.  I wish I had more time.    TIME-It’s a crazy thing…  We only get today once…  My boys will only be young ONCE.  This life is a gift- a gift we are given- ONCE.   Time really does fly and we can’t slow it down or even stop it.  As I reflect on this past year I can only hope that Barb was sharing it with me in some small way.    I am going to remember the special time I was granted with her and share those memories with my children.  She will live on through me forever.   Through her life and her death I have learned to cherish the gift of time and for that I will always be grateful!

As for my dearest Barbie, I will always remember the special time you gave me, your love for me, and your timeless spirit. I love you with all my heart…  XOXO

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One Response to “Missing My Barbie…”

  1. Ray Woody October 6, 2013 at 9:32 PM #

    That was so very true about .She was a person who had no time for herself . She wae that special person who was beautiful on the inside as well as the outside

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